What Does it Mean to be Charming?

Posted On: July 9, 2020

We live in a challenging world. Despite all the technology, gadgets, the internet, government, etc. every individual still needs to be able to make his own way in the world. Charm is one of the traits that prove that an individual will be able to get along with people and potentially do well in life.

Charming (noun): A power of pleasing or attracting, as through personality; a trait or feature imparting this power; to gain or influence through personal charm; to be fascinating or pleasing.

We’re drawn to charming people; we’d choose to be with them over someone rude and uncompromisingly blunt. Charming people make everyone around feel good and positive. We can’t get enough of them. We may not pinpoint what makes them so enthralling, but we wish we could bottle their charisma.


Though charming people delight us when we meet them, most of us rarely think of consciously being a charming individual. The very idea of trying to appear charming sounds off-key, for we tend to believe at some level that we are simply born charming or aren’t – and that any conscious attempt to acquire the quality would be lacking in authenticity.

So, what is it really?

Charm is a special appeal some people possess that makes others drawn to them. It has nothing to do with looks or money. Charm is the quality of attracting or fascinating others.

Real charmers don’t boast about their accolades and accomplishments, what car they drive, or what expensive vacation they indulged in.

Charming people think less about being impressive, more about being warm, and more about whether the other person feels like they’re performing well.

Charm is about making others feel important and good about themselves. When someone speaks to you, and makes you feel like you’re the most important person at that moment, don’t you feel special?
The point is, treat people like they are your friends. Don’t dwell on the thought that they might have negative intentions towards you.

Learning to be charming ≠ desperate to impress others

We have absolute control over what we can think and believe in. Our innate characteristics always want us to value everything justly and fairly. Impressing and being impressed is all dependent on the individual mindset. We try to impress using flowery language or depth of knowledge or luxuries we own and think that we are being charismatic. These things cannot bring charm. 

Authenticity is the secret of true charm

The art of attracting and influencing the people around is not pretending to be something we’re not, but fully expressing who we really are.

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay 

We can do a lot of things to come across as a charming individual, but charisma can’t be forced. Deliberately trying to be charming is a big turn off. By resorting to our natural self, the truthful, loving, happy, and compassionate self, we can delight, attract, or fascinate others.

Charm is going deep inside our own nature. It is being who we are and not who we think we are. As humans, we are naturally kind, generous, loving, truthful, and always in alignment with the reality of existence. Our core beliefs are: living life happily, creating meaningful relationships, ensuring the well-being of ourselves and those around us, and leaving a better world behind. Everything else including our insecurities, false beliefs, wrong practices, are imbibed from society.

The base of all the fear, anxiety, depression, insecurities, etc. is our unverified beliefs that have no ground in reality. This change of beliefs results in our definitions of life and living changing.

Being authentic is the fastest way to irresistible charm. All other types of charms learned by us fade away. But, the charisma of living by human nature will always be there rain or shine.

Takeaway ~

Current Belief ~ Charm is a skill that can be learned in addition to your real nature.

In popular culture, ~ Sinem Gunel in her article 3 Simple Ways to Charm Anyone provides some tips for being charming. She infers that charm can be learned.

As per the philosophy of coexistence, You cannot be superficially charming instead of your real nature. Being genuine is the real charm and nothing can be as appealing as being yourself. The secret of charming people is nothing but authenticity. Every human individual is most beautiful and at the same time unique when he behaves according to his innate human nature.

Anand Damani Author at Medium

Serial Entrepreneur, Business Advisor, and Philosopher of Humanism

Writes about Human Behaviour, Universal Morality, Philosophy, Psychology, and Societal Issues.

Anand aims to help complete and spread the knowledge about Universal Human Values and facilitate their practice across sex, age, culture, religion, ethnicity, etc.

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