The Case With Over Talking
Humankind must eternally be thankful for the gift of language. The gift of talking. You can express yourself using words and this is one of the features that makes you the most evolved species. But as they say, too much of anything is bad.
With excessive talking, you compromise on understanding, the other essential feature of human species. Communication impaired by verbose is complicated and does not aid understanding. Wordiness never makes any conversation more interesting or meaningful. As far as speaking, listening, and understanding is concerned, maintaining balance is of utmost importance.
Get to the point right away, say only what is important, and others will understand you more, take you seriously. You will sound decisive and confident. Your charm will increase.
Besides, the exchange of ideas that happen as a result of communication and the memories it creates between the participants is the reality. Science understands it as transactive memory. This collective memory is what becomes culture and tradition in human society. So be very precise, polite, truthful in your interactions.
Which one will create a better transactive memory?
“ Listen! I am always cleaning the mess in the apartment. You do nothing. I am not the only one living here. This mess irritates me and I don’t like it. You have to clean. How can you live in such a mess?
Hey, please ensure cleaning in the apartment. I don’t feel good when there is a mess around.
Brevity is the soul of wit
brev·i·ty — Concise and exact use of words in writing or speech
Be it any kind of communication, brevity is the key skill. But only a few master it. Brevity lets you express yourself succinctly. You know what you are saying and others are curious to know what you have to say.
Some tips to help you master the art of brevity:
- Quality > quantity. Overexpressing can water down even a very good point.
- The pause in conversation after you have spoken doesn’t mean you need to talk. You will just repeat yourself, make even weaker points.
- Listen! Let things play out a bit before you jump in. as you get time to understand others and think, you will add sensible points.
- Repeat yourself in your brain. Ponder over what you are about to communicate and make sure it is concise and clear.
- Understanding precedes conclusion. Do not jump to conclusions right away. Give yourself time to understand what is being said then respond with clarity.
Focusing on what matters, what is real
When you ‘speak’ less, you ‘do’ more, due to the saved energy and extra focus.
Given your power of imagination and information overload in the world, it acts as a feast for your thought… no pun intended. There is just too much for you to think and talk about. There is an N number of channels of communication and information consumption providing an endless supply of content (ideas, beliefs, practices). You can talk all your life, and you won’t be short of things to talk about. With some self-scrutiny, you will realize that more than half of everything you brag about is worthless.
Here is a calculation ~ Refraining yourself from talking 10 minutes a day gives you 300 free minutes a month. These five hours can be spent on fitness, reading, crafting, coaching, anything you want. Doing will always beat speaking if the goal is to improve yourself.
This indulgence in meaningless stuff is the reason human beings have compromised on mindfulness. When you are always focusing on putting things out there, you are either ruminating on the past or anticipating the future. You never feel the joy of being in the moment.
Current belief ~ Make your voice heard.
In popular culture: Jessica Powell has penned an article titled ‘How to Make Yourself Heard in Meetings’. Published on popular medium publication Forge, the feature is a well-written guide for people wanting to be heard at the workplace.
As per the philosophy of coexistence, thought, speech and action are the three processes that go on inside every human being all the time. Unless there is a balance between these three things, a human being cannot function naturally. Any misalignment in them will lead to weird behavior and be a source of pain to himself as well as other human beings.
All behavior that happens is because the person who does that has been educated to find it beneficial to him. It is incomplete education and the person can not be blamed for the same. Given proper education, he will be able to see those actions in a better light and correct his behavior.